Khloe Kardashian, who had a surprise reunion with her ex-husband Lamar Odom, got candid about meeting him after nine years.

The 40-year-old reality star told bff Malika Haqq, “I think I’m still processing what this meeting meant to me,” on Thursday, March 6th.

During the latest episode of The Kardashians, Khloe reflected on what Lamar meant for their family.

“Because our Dad died so young, Lamar was the first man that ever came in our lives that was like, the head of the household. For all of us. Lamar was everyone’s protector. Everyone — even if someone was older — looked up to Lamar.”

The socialites’ dad, Robert Kardashian Sr., with whom Kris Jenner also shared daughters Kim and Kourtney Kardashian as well as son Rob Kardashian, passed away in 2003.

Khloe went on to say that the NBA star was put on a “pedestal” among her family, but “deservingly” so.

“It made me sad because the demise of Lamar hurt and affected every single one of my family [members]. We still love him and cherish him, but that man is just not there,” she added.

“Seeing him at Malika’s, I was just like, I can’t help you anymore. You’ll never be the person that we all idolized.”

Opening up about seeing Lamar after six years of no contact, Khloe shared that when he arrived he was “visibly uncomfortable,” but she didn’t “have a lot of emotion.”

“I have dealt with so much trauma in this relationship for years and this was such the love of my life that to learn how to unlove someone — to have to go through all that — it’s almost like a death,” she said.